Category: Reiki

Mindfulness and Silence

If there is one thing people know about the Society of Friends, it is that in many meetings people sit in silence that is occasionally interspersed with people speaking.

After a long absence, I’ve been attending a Friends’ Meeting since July 2015. Someone told that Friends are encouraged to speak only when what they would say will improve on the silence. I contemplated this recently during a Meeting.

Whether I am sitting in Buddhist meditation, a meditation of Reiki practitioners, or Friends worship, I find the energy of the group very rich and conducive to my own meditation. It would take a lot to improve on it.

As I considered that, someone got up and delivered what I judged—and I use the word deliberately—a low-quality, long, and very boring message. Frankly, I was annoyed, and I decided to look at my annoyance. What I discovered surprised me.

I realized that I am constantly giving myself long and low-quality messages thick with repetitive anxiety, that I can remind myself that I have to do something countless times, and that my ego gives me other messages that do not improve on silence.

This gave me a powerful incentive to be mindful of what I’m thinking. That doesn’t mean that I will suppress. That’s what I have been doing. Instead, I intend to simply be aware of it, to allow it but not to feed it.

That resolution gives me contentment. I thank the boring Friend. Once I mindfully contemplated my reaction to his message, it turned out to have far greater value than I had imagined.

Is Mindfulness Dangerous?Part III

I’ve devoted two blog posts to writing about an article entitled, “Is Mindfulness Making Us Ill?” published in the “Is Mindfulness Making Us Ill?”January 23 issue of The Guardian. (In the first post, I described some of the misconceptions in the article about what mindfulness is and how it’s being applied in the UK. In the second, I explained why mindful meditation programs and retreats may not be for everyone.

In this post, I share how everyone can practice mindfulness on a daily basis.

This brings me again to the basic error of the Guardian article, which begins with the title. “Is Mindfulness Making Us Ill?” No. Meditation retreats led by unqualified individuals may activate long-held traumas, especially if sensory deprivation is a feature. Giving someone an app and telling him it will change his life is surely dishonest. Telling someone she has to take a mindfulness course or she’ll lose her job is frankly coercive.

We can, however, practice mindfulness in very simple ways because the basic concept of mindfulness is simple. It means to focus one’s attention on the present moment, a practice that’s essentially healing.

What can make us ill is to focus on the suffering and resentments of the past. We can also become ill from stress and anxiety as we dread the future. Mindfulness provides an antidote to past and future focus.

We can start in little ways, like small steps in exercise. One way would be to choose one activity per day to practice mindfully. It could be washing the dishes; it could be walking to work.

An activity I highly recommend is mindfully petting your cat or dog, who will thank you for this. Think of the many aspects you can focus on: fur texture, purring (cats), deep sighs of contentment (dogs and sometimes cat), how the chin goes up when you scratch it, the way the animal may bury his head in your hand. You can also learn from the animal’s gift of being fully in the present.

You can also practice “on-demand” mindfulness. Say you have a problem (you think) coming up in the future. You think about this problem during the middle of the night, and anxiety erupts.

Ask yourself if you can do one blessed thing about this problem at 2 a.m. Mostly likely, you’ll realize that you can only worry, which you’re already doing. It doesn’t seem to be helping.

Instead, try this relaxation method, which is a very basic and simple mindfulness technique taught by Thich Nhat Hanh. Slowly inhale and exhale, and as you do so, follow your breath.

Say to yourself, “Breathing in, I know I am breathing in. Breathing out, I know I am breathing out.” Or you can simply say, “In, out.” Breathe as slowly and deeply as you can.

When thoughts arise, don’t try to resist them, but don’t focus on them, either. Allow them to be and return your attention to breathing.

This is only a sample of how you can practice mindfulness.

Ask yourself questions. If you’re unhappy, agitated, depressed, or bored, ask what you’re thinking about. Ask where you are: in the past, future, or present? If you’re not in the present, bring yourself there. Do one of the above procedures or an engaging physical activity.

The more you focus on the present, the easier it gets. The easier it gets, the more enjoyable it becomes.

Is Mindfulness Dangerous?: Part II

Last week in “Is Mindfulness Dangerous?: Part I,” I wrote about an article entitled, “Is Mindfulness Making Us Ill?” published in the January 23 issue of The Guardian. In that post, I described some of the misconceptions in the article about what mindfulness is and how it’s being applied in the UK.

In this blog post, I write about some of the problems that can arise when one begins a mindfulness practice.

Florian Ruths, quoted in the article above, is clinical lead for mindfulness-based therapy in the South London and Maudsley NHS foundation trust. He says that self-taught mindfulness works for most people, provided that they don’t have disabling stress, clinical depression, or extreme anxiety. In the latter cases, a guided practice is far preferable.

He makes a valuable analogy to physical exercise. Probably about 20% of those who start off at a gym get injured because they haven’t gotten appropriate instruction.

Mind/Body Crises

When I began to teach Reiki, I was discriminating about who I would take as a student. Years of working in a metaphysical store in Manhattan and dealing with countless customers had taught me how to recognize if someone had serious emotional/mental issues. The prospect of spending money seems to bring up those issues.

Reiki can also bring such issues to the surface, as can any mind/body practice. Many people habitually push down their emotional issues. These may include unresolved traumas. Depending on how severe these are, a mind/body practice may remove the protective seals.

Anyone who knows or suspects that they have major traumas is far better off not trying to address them without professional guidance. By that, I don’t necessarily mean a psychotherapist. Trained EFT and Matrix Reimprinting practitioners, especially those who have had training in trauma practice, can responsibly assist a traumatized individual (and can benefit anyone who would like assistance in unraveling blockages).

I imagine that going to one of Thich Nhat Hanh’s retreats may also provide a safe and supportive setting, but I have no first-hand information on this. I’d recommend that anyone who knows they have such issues research this further.

Mindfulness Training is Powerful.

The most important point for me is that what is being done in Great Britain (and the US) is to trivialize mindfulness as if it’s some kind of useful trick like memory improvement that gives your life a quick fix. It’s the psychological equivalent of a pharmaceutical drug. However, mindfulness practice is far from a quick fix. has deep effects on the body/mind. That’s why, like yoga and chi kung, people have been practicing it for centuries or more. It works, and it works in ways you can’t always anticipate.

In terms of whether going to a training or retreat is a good idea for someone, consider the following:

  • Whether deprivation, whether of food or sleep, is involved
  • The qualifications of the trainers/leaders
  • If the individual has known traumas that remain unaddressed
  • If someone is uncomfortable with strong emotions
  • If an individual likes privacy for emotional expression
  • If one has never had therapy, whether individual or group, or any kind of psychological coaching.
  • More broadly, if one has never before explored the mind-body connection.

In any of the above cases, I recommend coaching. An additional reason for my favoring of EFT and Matrix Reimprinting (which can be combined in a coaching session) is that you can learn and practice them in between coaching sessions. Something else, though, may feel more comfortable for you. Have an introductory session. Decide if you want to go further.

In the final section of this series, I’ll write about easy, beginning mindfulness practices.