Mindfulness and Essential Oils

Mindfulness can be a multisensory experience. We know that beautiful natural sights and peaceful music can both relax us and focus our attention to the present moment. Scent, too, can have a calming and meditative effect. Think of incense in churches and the fragrance of a rose garden or a field of lavender.

Below, I’ve chosen oils that are known to have meditative and/or mindful effects. I included among them those which can assist in emotional healing.

I recommend not burning oils. The heat will damage them. Use a diffuser or a mister. If you are going to be meditating, you can also occasionally inhale directly from the bottle. They make a fragrant addition to a calming bath. (See cautions below.)

If your heart feels wounded, you could use bergamot. If you’re feeling emotionally vulnerable, reach for chamomile.

You can find a lot of more specific information about essential oils on the internet. Consider this a starting point.

Bergamot: Opens hearts closed by grief to receive and give joy. Helps hearts already open to direct healing to others.

Cedarwood: Cuts through mental blockages to deepen our connection to spirit. Excellent for deep relaxation, meditation and psychic work.

Chamomile: Calming and soothing, with a strong effect on anger and oversensitivity. Assists in loving communication.

Cinnamon (bark): Helps us connect with our psychic powers; used with visualization to create prosperity.

Clary Sage: Helps to encourage vivid dreams and clear inner visions. Also relieves stress.

Cypress: Helps with transitions, especially when involving decision-making; gives comfort and strength in the face of loss including that of death.

Eucalyptus: Psychic cleanser of negative energies especially from arguments or fights.

Frankincense: Historically a ceremonial oil, used to deepen breathing and elevate consciousness; helps to make us aware that reality is multidimensional; also helps break unwanted ties with the past.

Juniperberry: Cleans out negative psychic energy, including one’s own feelings of un-cleanliness.

Lavender: Calming, balancing; helps us integrate spirituality into everyday life. Can assist in sleep.

Lemongrass: Stimulates psychic awareness.

Marjoram: Eases loneliness and grief, unites psychic and conscious minds.

Melissa (also known as Lemon Balm): Opens the heart center; good for anxiety, emotional shock, grief; assists in past-life recall.

Myrrh: Grounds spiritual energies, aids in meditation; helps us move through emotional and spiritual blockages.

Patchouli: A grounding oil which connects us to our physical selves.

Peppermint: Mental stimulant; balances both the overblown and the underdeveloped ego.

Rose: It is a healing and balancing oil with a natural affinity with the heart. Rose has the highest frequency of any oil, and raises the frequency of cells bringing harmony and enhanced well-being to the body and balancing personal will.

Rosemary: Psychic protector; stimulant which promotes mental clarity.

Rosewood: Calms without inducing drowsiness; an excellent oil for meditation.

Sandalwood: Stills the conscious mind so a meditative state can be achieved; helps free the mind from the past.

Vetiver: With its wonderful earthy smell, this is one of the most powerfully grounding oils.

Guidelines and Cautions

Choose only therapeutic-grade oils. I use Young Living Oils. I get no financial benefit from saying this. I just think they’re the best. If expense is an issue, it’s better to have a few high-grade oils than a lot of lower-grade ones that will deliver fewer benefits.

Skin irritants that should neither be applied directly to the skin or used in the bath include bergamot, lemongrass, lemon verbena, melissa, peppermint. If you’re susceptible to skin allergies, place no essential oils directly on the skin.

Do not use if you have high blood pressure: cypress, rosemary

The information herein is not intended to replace the advice of a qualified medical professional. I recommend looking up any oil you contemplate using.

Is Mindfulness Dangerous?Part III

I’ve devoted two blog posts to writing about an article entitled, “Is Mindfulness Making Us Ill?” published in the “Is Mindfulness Making Us Ill?”January 23 issue of The Guardian. (In the first post, I described some of the misconceptions in the article about what mindfulness is and how it’s being applied in the UK. In the second, I explained why mindful meditation programs and retreats may not be for everyone.

In this post, I share how everyone can practice mindfulness on a daily basis.

This brings me again to the basic error of the Guardian article, which begins with the title. “Is Mindfulness Making Us Ill?” No. Meditation retreats led by unqualified individuals may activate long-held traumas, especially if sensory deprivation is a feature. Giving someone an app and telling him it will change his life is surely dishonest. Telling someone she has to take a mindfulness course or she’ll lose her job is frankly coercive.

We can, however, practice mindfulness in very simple ways because the basic concept of mindfulness is simple. It means to focus one’s attention on the present moment, a practice that’s essentially healing.

What can make us ill is to focus on the suffering and resentments of the past. We can also become ill from stress and anxiety as we dread the future. Mindfulness provides an antidote to past and future focus.

We can start in little ways, like small steps in exercise. One way would be to choose one activity per day to practice mindfully. It could be washing the dishes; it could be walking to work.

An activity I highly recommend is mindfully petting your cat or dog, who will thank you for this. Think of the many aspects you can focus on: fur texture, purring (cats), deep sighs of contentment (dogs and sometimes cat), how the chin goes up when you scratch it, the way the animal may bury his head in your hand. You can also learn from the animal’s gift of being fully in the present.

You can also practice “on-demand” mindfulness. Say you have a problem (you think) coming up in the future. You think about this problem during the middle of the night, and anxiety erupts.

Ask yourself if you can do one blessed thing about this problem at 2 a.m. Mostly likely, you’ll realize that you can only worry, which you’re already doing. It doesn’t seem to be helping.

Instead, try this relaxation method, which is a very basic and simple mindfulness technique taught by Thich Nhat Hanh. Slowly inhale and exhale, and as you do so, follow your breath.

Say to yourself, “Breathing in, I know I am breathing in. Breathing out, I know I am breathing out.” Or you can simply say, “In, out.” Breathe as slowly and deeply as you can.

When thoughts arise, don’t try to resist them, but don’t focus on them, either. Allow them to be and return your attention to breathing.

This is only a sample of how you can practice mindfulness.

Ask yourself questions. If you’re unhappy, agitated, depressed, or bored, ask what you’re thinking about. Ask where you are: in the past, future, or present? If you’re not in the present, bring yourself there. Do one of the above procedures or an engaging physical activity.

The more you focus on the present, the easier it gets. The easier it gets, the more enjoyable it becomes.

Is Mindfulness Dangerous?: Part II

Last week in “Is Mindfulness Dangerous?: Part I,” I wrote about an article entitled, “Is Mindfulness Making Us Ill?” published in the January 23 issue of The Guardian. In that post, I described some of the misconceptions in the article about what mindfulness is and how it’s being applied in the UK.

In this blog post, I write about some of the problems that can arise when one begins a mindfulness practice.

Florian Ruths, quoted in the article above, is clinical lead for mindfulness-based therapy in the South London and Maudsley NHS foundation trust. He says that self-taught mindfulness works for most people, provided that they don’t have disabling stress, clinical depression, or extreme anxiety. In the latter cases, a guided practice is far preferable.

He makes a valuable analogy to physical exercise. Probably about 20% of those who start off at a gym get injured because they haven’t gotten appropriate instruction.

Mind/Body Crises

When I began to teach Reiki, I was discriminating about who I would take as a student. Years of working in a metaphysical store in Manhattan and dealing with countless customers had taught me how to recognize if someone had serious emotional/mental issues. The prospect of spending money seems to bring up those issues.

Reiki can also bring such issues to the surface, as can any mind/body practice. Many people habitually push down their emotional issues. These may include unresolved traumas. Depending on how severe these are, a mind/body practice may remove the protective seals.

Anyone who knows or suspects that they have major traumas is far better off not trying to address them without professional guidance. By that, I don’t necessarily mean a psychotherapist. Trained EFT and Matrix Reimprinting practitioners, especially those who have had training in trauma practice, can responsibly assist a traumatized individual (and can benefit anyone who would like assistance in unraveling blockages).

I imagine that going to one of Thich Nhat Hanh’s retreats may also provide a safe and supportive setting, but I have no first-hand information on this. I’d recommend that anyone who knows they have such issues research this further.

Mindfulness Training is Powerful.

The most important point for me is that what is being done in Great Britain (and the US) is to trivialize mindfulness as if it’s some kind of useful trick like memory improvement that gives your life a quick fix. It’s the psychological equivalent of a pharmaceutical drug. However, mindfulness practice is far from a quick fix. has deep effects on the body/mind. That’s why, like yoga and chi kung, people have been practicing it for centuries or more. It works, and it works in ways you can’t always anticipate.

In terms of whether going to a training or retreat is a good idea for someone, consider the following:

  • Whether deprivation, whether of food or sleep, is involved
  • The qualifications of the trainers/leaders
  • If the individual has known traumas that remain unaddressed
  • If someone is uncomfortable with strong emotions
  • If an individual likes privacy for emotional expression
  • If one has never had therapy, whether individual or group, or any kind of psychological coaching.
  • More broadly, if one has never before explored the mind-body connection.

In any of the above cases, I recommend coaching. An additional reason for my favoring of EFT and Matrix Reimprinting (which can be combined in a coaching session) is that you can learn and practice them in between coaching sessions. Something else, though, may feel more comfortable for you. Have an introductory session. Decide if you want to go further.

In the final section of this series, I’ll write about easy, beginning mindfulness practices.

Is Mindfulness Dangerous?: Part I

The British publication, the Guardian, published on January 23 an article entitled, “Is Mindfulness Making Us Ill?” The author, Dawn Foster, had a negative experience with a group meditation. Instead of calming her, it induced a state of anxiety that persisted for days, along with a persistent tension headache. The experience apparently led her to investigate the practice.

Although the article starts with a basic misunderstanding of mindfulness, it does highlight some key ways in which the mindfulness movement is being co-opted on corporate and governmental levels.

Mindfulness Isn’t Meditation

Foster makes a fundamental error at the beginning of the article, describing mindfulness as “the practice of sitting still and focusing on your breath and thoughts.” If you’re familiar with the teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh, you know that mindfulness means concentrating on the present moment. In his words, “Mindfulness frees us of forgetfulness and dispersion and makes it possible to live fully each minute of life. Mindfulness enables us to live.”

That means that if you’re washing dishes, put your attention on washing dishes, not on the idea that once you’ve finished this job, you can sit down and have tea and dessert. If you’re walking, concentrate on the walking, not on where you’re going. When you’re focused on the present, you’re being mindful.

Mindfulness may be part of meditation. More importantly, with focused attention on the present, that present moment is meditative.

The Commercialization of Mindfulness

Foster’s article provides a helpful guide to an important reason why mindfulness practices may not be working out in Great Britain. She quotes Will Davies, author of The Happiness Industry, as saying that corporate heads recognize that depression, stress, and anxiety lead to decreased productivity and increased sick days.

Instead of changing the workplace environment by reducing excessive workloads, improving management practices, and taking steps to increase morale, Davies says, “We’re now reaching the stage where mandatory meditation is being discussed as a route to heightened productivity, in tandem with various apps, wearable devices and forms of low-level employee surveillance.”

Thich Nhat Hanh also envisioned how the practice of mindfulness could change the atmosphere of a workplace, but he imagined meetings with calming music in the background and participants who had learned the practice of listening to each other with mindful openness. An example of how this actually done is the prayerful practice with which the Society of Friends conducts its business meetings and seeks consensus.

Instead, British businesses offer apps, surveillance, and forced participation in meditation. When a practice is stripped of its spiritual foundations, can anyone be surprised that this isn’t working out too well?

Next week, I’ll address some of the issues that can arise when one first begins to practice mindfulness.

Mindfulness and Suffering

Does being mindful end suffering? Not that I’ve noticed. It can, however, change the nature of suffering.

In The Mindfulness Backlash, I wrote about the speed with which mindfulness is being marketed as a cure-all, which it is not. Mindfulness will not get you a new car, a better car, or a great relationship.

It also will not erase moments or longer time spans of suffering from your life. This sometimes seems unfair. If you can be serene, accepting each moment as it unfolds, surely, just as correct sanitation creates an environment in which germs don’t thrive, negativity should feel unwelcome in your mind.

However that thought reveals an inherent resistance. When I think it, I’m saying, “I don’t want negativity.” The statement that what we resist persists may be over-used, but that doesn’t make it less true.

It is often said that resistance is the source of all mental and physical pain. Take a moment to check out your body: neck, back, shoulders, wherever you may experience tension and pain. Think about some of the classic phrases related to physical pain and discomfort: “Pain in the neck,” “Don’t expect me to swallow that,” “I can’t stomach it.” Hear the resistance in these statements.

Imagine instead, waking up with a physical pain and surrendering to it, saying, “OK, pain, you win.” Some people ask what the pain wants to tell them, and this is an approach that can work for many varieties of suffering.

That person at work you can’t stand? (And how are your legs and feet doing?) Becoming mindful and going within may bring up a memory of someone of whom that person reminds you. Now you have an opportunity for release.

A situation that frightens you may represent the past intruding into the present moment and projecting into the future. A very common example involves people who are terrified about the idea of public speaking and who remember that when they were children, they suffered a humiliating experience in school. Suffering, when it operates in the background of consciousness, persists.

This is why the Zen Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh, advises us to make good use of our suffering, to embrace it as a teacher, to understand that in suffering lies the key to its resolution and healing.

Yes, it takes courage and commitment—and mindfulness. When I can allow whatever is happening in the present moment, I may not suddenly become happy, but in the acceptance that I’m not in control of the situation, I can surrender to it and invite it to teach me. It’s not my fault; it’s not anyone’s fault; it is.

And that’s the beginning of peace.

The Mindfulness Backlash?

Mindfulness is certainly in the news. I get Google Alerts on the subject, and every day, a long listing of articles comes to my inbox.

We have mindfulness coloring books, apps. We are told that mindfulness can help us lose weight, cure depression, assist us in concentration, productivity, and profit, and teach children to learn better.

The above claims are probably potentially true, but I see a danger—actually, several dangers—in what appears to be a growing mindfulness craze.

“Girlfriend left you? Try a little mindfulness.”

“Need a better job? Meditate for success.”

“Kids bothering you? Send them to mindfulness school.”

People are beginning to see mindfulness as a cure-all, just as other segments of the population see pharmaceutical drugs. Given a choice, I’d prefer that parents send their kids to mindfulness school rather than drug them up. What makes me nervous is the possibility that it will be seen as a quick fix.

Since it isn’t, people will become disappointed and check it off as one more New Age hype that didn’t deliver.

This would be unfortunate, since mindfulness does have so much to offer anyone who approaches it in a different way. Instead of thinking, “I will do this thing in order to achieve X,” we do better to say, “I choose to live my life this way because each mindful moment and act gives its own reward.” Not tomorrow, not next month when you look at your stock dividends or your kid’s report card, but NOW.

Because mindfulness is about now. When it’s practiced that way, it will never disappoint. When it’s seen as a means to an end, disappointment is inevitable.

Mindfulness and Laughter

Where I live, it’s winter, and though snow came late to the party, it didn’t neglect to arise. In the Northeast, we are approaching the time traditionally known as that of cabin fever. This period is characterized by restlessness, irritability, and the desire to see something green.

It’s a time when a good laugh can make a difference. Laughter is mindful. It puts us completely in the moment. Past and future fade away as we enjoy the hilarity of the present moment.

With this in mind, I invite you to visit the following web site:

The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest

The URL will take you to the winning entries for the 2015 Bulwer-Lytton contest. Bulwer-Lytton was the author of the classic phrase, “It was a dark and stormy night,” and the contest challenges entrants to compose bad opening sentences to imaginary novels. Many are so bad that they’re very good.

Since the contest is completely about shameless bad writing, I have no hesitation in stating that I won a runner-up award in 2005 in the Fantasy category. Here’s my entry:

?The dragon cast his wet, rheumy eyes, heavy-lidded with misery, over his kingdom – a malodorous, rot-ridden swamp, with moss cloaking brooding, gloomy cypresses, tree trunks like decayed teeth rising from stagnant ponds, creatures with mildewed fur and scales whom the meanest roadside zoo would have rejected – and hoped the antidepressants would kick in soon.”

In a very different form, this entry became the basis for Big Dragons Don’t Cry, the first book of A Dragon’s Guide to Destiny. You can see the link to the right for more information.

This kind of humor may not be for you, in which case, I invite you to search on YouTube for one of Jimmy Fallon’s impersonations of famous singers. Or get a Laughing Buddha and contemplate why he’s laughing.

Being Mindful about Love

When I was a child, my father habitually manipulated his children to feel sorry for him. As a complementary activity, he subtly coerced us to behave in certain ways that he claimed would make him happier. The tagline was, “If you love me, you’ll . . .”

My training was that when you loved people, you did things that you didn’t necessarily want to do, things that you, in some dim but emerging awareness, knew violated your integrity and sense of self.

As an adult who learned a thing or two about psychology, I came to realize that his behavior was that of a self-proclaimed victim who used this role to dominate others. I learned to spot specimens of that type and refused to give in to their strategies.

Recently, though, someone made some classic Victim-as-Dominator moves on me on the false premise that I had wronged him. The stakes were very high. Either I gave in, or our friendship would be over.

When an acquaintance attempts to dominate you, the cost of refusal is relatively low. This, however, was someone who meant a lot to me, someone I loved and whom I thought loved me.

After a certain amount of anguish, I turned to meditation and mindful contemplation. I came to understand that for the sake of my integrity I needed to turn down the invitation to be dominated and coerced by him. To be untrue to myself for the sake of friendship would render the friendship meaningless.

My decision put my feet on high moral ground, but my heart was in tatters. I needed to heal it with something more effective than the bandage of “You did the right thing.”

I’m not a regular Bible reader, but I remembered a famous Biblical passage about love and looked it up. This verse in Corinthians 13:4-8 says as much to me about love as anything I’ve read.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”

When I read it, I found my cure. I recognized that what I thought was love on his part was the familiar “I will love you if . . .” Though the relationship had had many high points, his demand had no element of love in it. It isn’t what I want to either give or receive in my life.

In the end, this experience is a gift. I’ve removed a toxic relationship from my life and received clarity. My New Year’s resolution is to shine that clear light on all of my relationships—because I want to live a life in which I experience and share love.

Have you had a positive experience in letting go of a damaging relationship? I’d love to hear about it.

Losing Things

In November I took a workshop. During the course of the two days, I lost things.

I lose and misplace things from time to time, but this was an extravaganza.

On Saturday night, I was back home, getting things out of the car, and I couldn’t find my water bottle. I told myself not to make this a big deal, went into the house, and made it a big deal. By the time I decided to look in the car again, the bottle had turned into a sacred chalice.

I left the house, and my cat, Pangur, ran outside for the first time since she joined me six months ago. This was probably a “I’ll show you you’re not the only one who can leave,” commando action, but I was beginning to feel that the universe was conspiring against me.

It was dark outside, she’s a black cat, and she cleverly dove into the bushes and became invisible. This was definitely a big deal. I’d never find her; she’d get hit by a car; and I’d suffer for the rest of my life. I recovered long enough to go back inside for a bag of treats, which I took outside and rattled. She forgot that she was punishing me and ran back into the house.

The next morning in the workshop room, I found the water bottle on the table where I’d left it. After lunch, though, I couldn’t find my purse. I fled the workshop and went downstairs to the hotel front desk, where no purse had been turned in. This was a BIG deal. Not only was my life over, but I wouldn’t even be able to drive home.

I went back upstairs, looked on the floor, and then for no particular reason, looked up at the coat rack. The purse was sitting on top. Apparently, someone put it there.

Why? I asked myself when the workshop was over. Was I losing my mind?

Yes. During the course of the workshop’s intensive exercises, I’d lost beliefs that were old friends, maybe not the best friends to have, but they’d provided the illusion of security. I was there for the purpose of losing them, so I thought I couldn’t mourn about that. Instead, I transferred my panic to a water bottle, cat, and purse.

I learned an important lesson from this: that the casting away of core beliefs, habits, and other structures I’ve built to keep myself supposedly safe IS A BIG DEAL. If I don’t acknowledge that it can be frightening, I’m going to frighten myself in other ways because the emotions, whether they be fear, grief, or massive insecurity, need to be expressed.

Mindfulness means attentiveness to my emotional state. When I’m tuning into myself, I can take the necessary precautions against the results of inner chaos. I can deliberately notice where the water bottle, the purse, and the cat are. More important, I put myself in training to be aware of my outer world, too. In such a state, each moment matters.

I don’t know if I’ve completely learned the lesson, but I’m sure I’m getting closer.

The workshop, by the way, was called Matrix Reimprinting, and it was pretty great. If you ever take it, though, hang on to your stuff—your physical stuff. Let the rest go, but be sure to wave good-bye.

Giving Thanks Mindfully

I don’t always do this, but this Thanksgiving I’m going to make a list of the many things for which I’m thankful.

Among these things are the many examples of seen of people who have risen above the limitations of prejudice and bigotry to welcome those who need who need new homes and communities and to offer support to those who have been the victims of vandalism and hatred. 7-year-old Jack Swanson is a shining example.

A Small Boy’s Generosity is Unexpectedly Rewarded.

We can also take comfort in seeing how animals don’t see themselves as separated by species.

A Cat, a Fawn, and Louis Armstrong’s Wonderful World.

If you celebrate Thanksgiving, I wish you a blessed day and reasons every day to feel blessed.